The Tears Of Our Time by Dr. Michael Flanagan
Original art by Pamela Michaels
As adults, we engage in raging political discourse on the ramifications of reopening the schools during a pandemic, the vitriol coming from our politicians or the effects of nationwide protests against racism. We casually discuss global warming and the possible extinction of the human race on a daily basis. The media constantly shows immigrants in cages, executions of unarmed black people by the police and white supremacists marching down the streets waving the American flag.
But what about the children?
They are witnessing the ugliness of our society every waking hour. Not only are they viewing it on television they are seeing it in the news feeds of their phones and computers. Even at “play” they are engaging in video games or watching movies where the “heroes” shoot people without hesitation or accountability. Our gun culture even allows open carry of assault weapons at statehouses and supermarkets. American as apple pie.
At home, far too many children live with domestic violence or are the victims of child abuse. In the wealthiest of nations they are impoverished and food insecure. Kids are not only bullied at school or in their neighborhoods, but through a never ending cycle of cyber bullying. This emotional and psychological abuse is heightened when the child has disabilities or is LGBTQ. Children who are raised in bigotry always bully those who are different. The apple never falls far from the tree.
Racism, violence, poverty and hatred are what our children are being raised on. No matter their age, kids hear and see all that we do. Our bias and opinions are bred into their bones, and they carry that trauma their whole lives.
These are the tears of our time.
Children used to have some semblance of a safe space at school. Where there was adult supervision and teachers who not only taught academics, but also provided social and emotional support. Counselors and professional educators who are mandated reporters trained to recognize signs of abuse. Educators are dedicated to the children we work with, in loco parentis while they are at school.
However, students are no longer in our physical care. They are alone, awash in the malfeasance of the world that we have created. And they are struggling. Some are succumbing to drugs or even contemplating suicide.
They are coming of age, trying to understand their identities and their sexuality. Forming their personalities, based on social media detritus or movie and video morals. Their music is a mass of misogyny and violence. Their police officers are seen as the bad guys. Religious leaders tell them that being gay is a sin, and that premarital sex will land them in hell.
During this pandemic children are living lives of quiet desperation. Far too often they have nowhere to turn but inward, forced to face their turmoil alone. No teachers or counselors to confide in. No friends available—who are struggling with the same things—to share their pain. They are living in constant stress, and the tools which our society has built to try to alleviate these stressors are no longer available.
Their safety nets are in tatters.
In whatever form the schools reopen, we must immediately tend to the social and emotional needs of our students. Focus less on how far behind they are academically and just be there for them. Give them a safe space to talk to someone. Allow them to articulate what they are feeling during these most turbulent times. They are crying inside and out, and we need to hear them. Really listen.
Remote learning or returning to brick and mortar schools should not be solely about academics, it must be about the whole child. Young kids need to play, create, and express themselves through art. Older kids need free form discussions and a chance to socially interact, not just be inundated with curriculum.
Educators—in both urban and suburban settings—need to honestly and openly address racism. By confronting our own bias and privilege. We must practice Trauma informed teaching to allow children to be who they are, and meet them there. Then support them when they find themselves, or hear their anguish when they are sinking into the depths of depression. Help them channel their anger into release.
There are far too many children struggling just to get by in this society ravaged by disease, violence and hatred. They need role models, who they can aspire to and pattern themselves after. It cannot just be musicians and sports figures, it must be us. We as educators need to be better for our kids. No matter how we were raised, we must deal with those ingrained failings, and work towards improving ourselves and our world. Because our children deserve better.
Whether the schools reopen, embark on a hybrid schedule or go fully remote in the fall, we should not be so concerned with how far they have fallen behind academically. Educators need to provide social and emotional support for our students struggling with the weight of the world. Let them share their thoughts, process their feelings and mend their tattered safety nets to catch them as they fall.